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"He's the only person I know who approaches team building like a do-it-yourself project."
"You ever notice how doing the books is a lot like assembling a swing set for the kids? You always end up with a few pieces left over at the end."
"This ledger certainly paints a picture of the company. Edvard Munch's "The Scream" comes to mind."
"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures, they follow me everywhere."
"But boss, the proposal was so well written."
"I understand you've found a system to reduce the number of complaints we receive by 50 percent."
"Hey! Who's project managing this?"
"The magazine didn't hire me, but they are paying me $50 to print my cover letter on their joke page."