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 "He's the only person I know who approaches team building like a do-it-yourself project." |  "You ever notice how doing the books is a lot like assembling a swing set for the kids? You always end up with a few pieces left over at the end." |  "This ledger certainly paints a picture of the company. Edvard Munch's "The Scream" comes to mind." |  "Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures, they follow me everywhere." |
 "But boss, the proposal was so well written."
|  "I understand you've found a system to reduce the number of complaints we receive by 50 percent." |  "Hey! Who's project managing this?" |  "The magazine didn't hire me, but they are paying me $50 to print my cover letter on their joke page." |