 "This read out shows your heart rate, blood pressure, bone density, skin hydration, plaque buildup, liver function and expected lifetime." |  "I am following the schedule! Today I skipped the rope, then I skipped the weights, then I skipped the crunches." |  "I do most of my lunging at the 70% off table at Neiman Marcus." |  "I'm not sure I can live up to my workout clothes." |