 "This program's really helped me learn a new language. It's so buggy I'm constantly talking with overseas service reps." |  "They won't let me through security until I remove the bullets from my Word document." |  "I can be reached at home on my cell phone, I can be reached on the road with my pager and PDA. Soon I'll be reachable on a plane with email. I'm beginning to think identity theft wouldn't be such a bad idea for a while." |  "You can lay on it if you want, but my channeling energy through your body's chakras isn't going to increase your laptop's battery life." |