 "These digital cameras are great at capturing action shots. Now, if only something interesting would happen." |  "I'd respond to this person's comment on Twitter, but I'm a former Marine, Bernard, and a Marine never retweets." |  "I build bookshelves and Bernice buys a Kindle." |  "I find it so obnoxious when people use their cell phone in public that I'm getting on the Web right now to blog about it." |