 "I know Facebook is great and you want to be a part of it. But your'e my mom -you can't be my friend." |  "I'd respond to this person's comment on Twitter, but I'm a former Marine, Bernard, and a Marine never retweets." |  "Here's an idea. Why don't you start a social network for doofuses who think they know how to set a broken leg, but don't." |  "Basically, it's a car-chasing network, but it's also much more. We discuss mail carriers, UPS trucks, vacuum cleaners..." |