 (Brenton Call Center) "I tried calling in sick yesterday, but I was put on hold and disconnected." |  "I advise to companies where the use of hurtful language appears epidemic. That's right, Your Honor - I'm an insultant consultant." |  "Listen up - I brought in a consultant to help figure this thing out. Old MacDonald, these are the boys. Boys, say hello to Old MacDonald." - Quack. Quack. - Moo. Moo. - Oink. Oink. |  (Swim Consultant) "Try to keep your head above water! Swim parallel to the beach until you're out of the riptide! Keep your insweep at a 60 degree diagonal and your head pointed forward!" |