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"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."
"The mailman thinks I have bursitis, but I'd like to get a second opinion from my accountant."
"Stan's taken salmon pills for his arthritis. Other than an urge to swim upstream each Fall, he hasn't experienced any side effects."
"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."
"Just another ten minutes and the back spasms should be gone."
"Watching Game shows all day masked the highs, but when I started weeping through dog food commercials, I knew I had a problem."
"Why don't we talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication, and then see about building that underground railroad to all your friends' homes."
"Let's see if we can identify some of the stress triggers in your life. You mentioned something about a large wolf that periodically shows up and attempts to blow your house down