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"This position is good for reaching inner calm, mental clarity, and things that roll behind the refrigerator."
"I am following the schedule! Today I skipped the rope, then I skipped the weights, then I skipped the crunches."
"I do most of my lunging at the 70% off table at Neiman Marcus."
"My body type? I'm an 'M.' But I'd like to get down to an 'N,' maybe an 'H.'"
"This read out shows your heart rate, blood pressure, bone density, skin hydration, plaque buildup, liver function and expected lifetime."
"I'm tired of everyone pulling my strings."
"You can lay on it if you want, but my channeling energy through your body's chakras isn't going to increase your laptop's battery life."
"Exactly what type of hormone replacement therapy are you taking?"