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"There's been a lot of interest shown in your home, but no offers. I suggest we either lower the price or start selling advertising space on your virtual tour site."
"OK, OK! You drive hard bargain. Me throw in washing machine."
"Well, it always helps to put fresh flowers around, and simmer some potpourri on the stove. Oh, and let's get rid of those Alligator Motels."
"I'm not sure this entirely justifies the 'water view' increase in your selling price."
"I just thought it was time to sell. The laces kept coming untied, there's a leak in the heel, and it needs all new odor-eaters."
"Margaret would like to move to a larger house, but I just don't see the need."
"My suggestion would be to cover it with a bush and hope no one notices."
"I think I fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak in to the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."