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 "There's been a lot of interest shown in your home, but no offers. I suggest we either lower the price or start selling advertising space on your virtual tour site." |  "My suggestion would be to cover it with a bush and hope no one notices." |  "I think I fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak in to the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings." |  "Seriously - why always a black bat cave? Why not a mauve bat cave? Or an egg shell bat cave? We could do a wallpaper wainscoting in contrasting stripes |
 "You did an excellent job, Dave. But two months seems a long time to paint the bathroom." |  "We got a hybrid loan. It starts out as a fixed rate loan, converts into an ARM, and if the lender's not satisfied with his return, we host his in-laws every other summer in the basement." |  "The paperwork for your mortgage seems to be in order. Now, if we can tap a vein for your signature we'll be all set." |  "When we bought it 5 years ago the mortgage payments seemed huge. But we got used to it. Please, pull up an orange crate and make yourself comfortable." |