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 (Free Beer) "...and what makes you think you're a leader of men all of a sudden?" |  "The first thing you need to know about coaching Little League is that it takes patience, understanding their limitations, and allowing them to feel like they're participating. And that's just the parents |  "Our Customer survey indicates 30% of our customers think our service is inconsistent, 40% would like a change in procedures, and 50% think it would be real cute if we all wore matching colored vests." |  "For 30 years I've put a hat and coat on to make sales calls and I'm not changing now just because I'm doing it on the Web from my living room." |
 "Oh, we're doing just great. Philip and I are selling decorative jelly jars on the Web. I run the Web site and Philip sort of controls the inventory." |  "Certainly, I'm all for using biodegradable and organic materials, but does the public really want fake doggy poop that isn't plastic?" |  "Here's our environmental audit. The numbers are pretty impressive. By the way, you can eat the report after you're done." |  (Shark Adventure. Swim With The Sharks. Learn Day Trading.) |