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(After installing OSX, Ned & Loretta Select The Computer's Background.)
"I'm going to assume that most of you - but not all of you- understand that this this session on 'masking' has to do with Photoshop."
"Of course your current cell phone takes pictures, functions as a walkie-talkie and browses the internet. But does it shoot silly string?"
"Ms. Lamont, how long have you been sending out bills listing charges for 'Freight,' 'Handling,' and 'Sales Tax,' as 'This,' 'That,' and 'The Other Thing'?"
"It's an electronic wedding planner. It'll create your checklists and timetables, and after the ceremony it turns all the documents into confetti and throws it in your face."
"I'm sorry but 'Arf, Bark and Woof' are already registered domain names. How about 'Oink, Quack, or Moo'?'"
"Hey here's a company that develops short memorable domain names for new businesses. It's listed as www.Company That Develops Short MemorableDomain Name Ffo Nnew Businesses.com"
"I'm sorry Mr. Garret, a 35 year old tattoo doesn't qualify as a legal trademark for 'Mother.com.'"