 "Hold on Barbara, let me launch Outlook and see if I can find a newsgroup on this." |  "My spam filter checks the recipient's address, http links, and any writing that panders to postmodern English romanticism with conceits to 20th century graphic narrative." |  (Uber-user Dwayne Grantz chalks up before putting Windows Vista through it's paces.) |  "How's the defragmentation coming?" |