 "I started running 'what if' scenarios on my spreadsheet, like, 'What if I were sick of this dirtwad job and funneled some of the company's money in to an off-shore account?'" |  (At FEMA, employees often use Excel's custom format function to create formulas for disaster.) |  (So, old Dave's presentations are boring? They're dull, huh? "Add some dynamic content," they said. I'll give you dynamic content...) |  "Okay- looks like the 'Dissolve' transition in my presentation needs adjusting." |