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 "Okay, ma'am, I'm going to ask you to walk a straight line; then I'm going to ask you to bisect that line with a perpendicular line that slopes to the equation y = 3x + 5." |  "I'm tired of everyone pulling my strings." |  "It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify." |  (Canine SAT Exam - Stay! Sit! Bad!) |
 (Tragically, Doug had just completed the vocabulary portion of his SAT exam before setting sail that day.) "Anyone here know what ameliorate means?" |  (Existential Pizza) "It's called that because we feel that people are entirely free and therefore responsible for what they make of themselves and for themselves. Now, do you still want the double anchovy with the fried mozzarella strips?" |  "The ancient philosophy of skepticism is particularly helpful when confronted with bacon on sale." |  (Poetry Repairman) "Yeah, I think I can fix this. Look in that toolbox and hand me a 3/16 dactylic hexameter." |