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("Stonewall" Jackson - Confederate general who led his troops to victory at Bull Run. - "Beast" Butler - Union Army general who held the occupation of Baltimore and New Orleans. - "Sneeze shield" Polk - Union general victorious at The Battle at Cracker Barrel's Salad Bar.)
(Popular Civil War Eatery - Hard Tack Cafe)
"Living on the Nile is wonderful. It brings us water, it brings us mud for bricks, it brings us fish, it brings us green pastures ..."
(In ancient Egypt, only noblemen drove horse drawn chariots. Farmers were forced to use more plentiful animals.)
"Remember, he's known as the "Catfish King," but never call him that to his face."
(Lesser known gods of ancient Egypt - Cheers - God of Hangovers - You and your buddies fermenting barley again? - Anorex - God of Dieting - Does this Kalasirius make me look fat? - Hilarius - God of Stand-Up Comedy - C'mon folks. My cousin the embalmer gets more laughs than this.)
(At the Embalmers' Workshop) "Wait a minute - if this jar's supposed to hold the body's liver, what's your lunch doing in it?"
"Well, that was just terrific! We pull up to shore, announce that we're Minoans bearing the framework for civilization, and you start eating hummus with your fingers."