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(Lesser known gods of ancient Egypt - Cheers - God of Hangovers - You and your buddies fermenting barley again? - Anorex - God of Dieting - Does this Kalasirius make me look fat? - Hilarius - God of Stand-Up Comedy - C'mon folks. My cousin the embalmer gets more laughs than this.)
(At the Embalmers' Workshop) "Wait a minute - if this jar's supposed to hold the body's liver, what's your lunch doing in it?"
"Well, that was just terrific! We pull up to shore, announce that we're Minoans bearing the framework for civilization, and you start eating hummus with your fingers."
"Okay, we've invented democracy, philosophy, and astrology. Now, Hilladius, you're working on something called pole dancing ...?"
(Extra Virgin Olive Oil: Ancient Attempts) "Okay bring in the extra virgin."
(At Home With Zeus) "You know I wish you'd be more careful about where you leave these things laying around!"
"I'm just saying, if we're able to make all these advancements in engineering, architecture, and the sciences, you'd think someone would find a way of putting pockets in a tunic."
"Mr. President, the Confederate army is missing in Virginia, several more of our officers have defected to the South, oh, and bad news - Mrs. Lincoln's redesigned tea service won't be here until Friday."