Family & Relationships Cartoons Cartoon Gallery
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 "You want to know why I'm mad? I suggest you download my latest novel called, 'Why an Obsessive Control-Freak Husband Should Never Pick Out Bathroom Tile Without Asking His Wife First.'" |  "The kids are getting up right now. When we wired the house we added vibrating pager technology to their bunk beds." |  "I tell you, it looks like Danny, it sounds like Danny, but it's NOT Danny!! I think the MAC has created an alias of Danny! You can see it in his eyes - little wrist watch icons." |  "Denise is a natural at helping me with the lyrics. She's been finishing my sentences for over 20 years anyway." |
 "I know he'd be happier in a job he didn't have to take home with him at night." |  "Sheldon, I'm leaving you. I'm moving in with your best friend and I'm taking the furniture, the car and the dog. Maybe this will help you finally learn all those minor chords on your guitar." |  "Betty, you're not going to embarrass me at the club by wearing that hat, are you?" |  (The Harrisons Enjoyed Indoor Furniture Biking) "Awesome move, Mom." |