 "The first thing you should know about investing online is that when you see the exploding bomb icon appear, it's just your browser crashing - not your portfolio." |  "I'm not sure - I like the mutual funds with rotating dollar signs, although the dancing stocks and bonds look good too." |  (SMASHO) "I'm a market timing investor, Doug. This keeps me sharp." |  "The one thing I've learned about investing is, timing is every |