 "I told Julian to take our money to Rappenship's and put it in to a good company. You want to mail your life savings to Procter and Gamble?" |  "Oh Martin, you scared me half to death! Next time let me know when you're picking a new stock." |  "The first thing you should know about investing online is that when you see the exploding bomb icon appear, it's just your browser crashing - not your portfolio." |