 "Do I recommend a hedge fund strategy? Let me put it to you this way: I'm a strict Catholic who goes to Temple every Saturday, so 'yes,' I would recommend a hedge fund strategy." |  "I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac." |  "Being Dracula's slave didn't pay much, but Renfield always found extra money to invest." |  "Annuities? Equity Income? Tax-free Municipals? I say we stick the money in the ground like always, and then feed this guy to the sharks." |