 "I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Chuckles, but the only thing you seem qualified for is a balloon loan." |  "I bought a software program that should help us monitor and control our spending habits, and while I was there, I picked up a few new games, a couple of screen savers, 4 new mousepads, this nifty pullout keyboard cradle |  Can you explain your loan program again, this time without using the phrase, 'yada,yada,yadda?' " |  "Let's see if we can determine your capacity for assuming risk. Now, how familiar are you with snake handling?" |