 "We took a gamble and invested all our money in a race horse. Then it ran away." |  "I've been working over 80 hours a week for the past two years preparing for retirement, and it hasn't bothered me OR my wife, what's-her-name." |  "The first thing you should know about investing online is that when you see the exploding bomb icon appear, it's just your browser crashing - not your portfolio." |  "I'm not sure - I like the mutual funds with rotating dollar signs, although the dancing stocks and bonds look good too." |