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 "No, my 5-year old painted the landscape. The other one is a valuable example of neo-urban-impressionism." |  "I like the marble vanity and the wall sconces, but I think the Eurostyle fixtures on the whirlpool take away some of its simple country charm." |  "I don't know why we're building a family room when this seems to be the room we all want to congregate in." |  "Neither one of us wanted a silo on the new master suite, but things like this can happen when you don't clean the coffee rings off your building plans." |
 "What makes you think your foundation is sinking? Well, for one thing, we're standing on the third floor balcony." |  "I bought a software program that should help us monitor and control our spending habits, and while I was there, I picked up a few new games, a couple of screen savers, 4 new mousepads, this nifty pullout keyboard cradle |  Can you explain your loan program again, this time without using the phrase, 'yada,yada,yadda?' " |  "Let's see if we can determine your capacity for assuming risk. Now, how familiar are you with snake handling?" |