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"I'm updating my resume to make me appear more youthful. I'm including a street name. What do you like - "PR-Diddy,' 'JJKool-Data,' or 'Ice-Cubicle?'"
"I checked the references for Ms. Snow White. While one seemed quite happy, the others were just bashful, gumpy, or out and out dopey."
"Our indirect pay package includes your choice of company car or company skateboard."
"The next part of your employment test is designed to determine your sense of humor."
(Resume - SWM seeks successful corporation for long term relationship.) "My sense is that you're personalizing your resume too much."
(Computer Sciences Lab) "I'm sure there will be a good job market when I graduate. I created a virus that will go off that year."
(Dog Catcher) "So what if you have a Ph.D. in physics? I used to have my own circus act."
"...faster than a speeding bullet...more powerful than a locomotive...hmm. Oh good, you type!"