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 "I could rent you this one. It's got a pool in the backyard. Then I got a six bedroom with a fountain out front, but nothing right now with a moat." |  Evidently, he made millions flipping real estate in Japan. |  "There's been a lot of interest shown in your home, but no offers. I suggest we either lower the price or start selling advertising space on your virtual tour site." |  "The paperwork for your mortgage seems to be in order. Now, if we can tap a vein for your signature we'll be all set." |
 "When we bought it 5 years ago the mortgage payments seemed huge. But we got used to it. Please, pull up an orange crate and make yourself comfortable." |  "Before you begin your home staging consultation, let me say one thing, because I know what you're thinking, and we already plan on getting rid of that hideous lamp." |  "OK, OK! You drive hard bargain. Me throw in washing machine." |  "Well, it always helps to put fresh flowers around, and simmer some potpourri on the stove. Oh, and let's get rid of those Alligator Motels." |