 "I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time." |  "Just another ten minutes and the back spasms should be gone." |  "Watching Game shows all day masked the highs, but when I started weeping through dog food commercials, I knew I had a problem." |  "Why don't we talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication, and then see about building that underground railroad to all your friends' homes." |