Cartoon Gallery
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 "I'd respond to this person's comment on Twitter, but I'm a former Marine, Bernard, and a Marine never retweets." |  "I build bookshelves and Bernice buys a Kindle." |  "Yeah, I've seen large defensive linemen before, but those are the only guys I've ever seen who can carry a 6-digit number on their jerseys." |  (SLOW) "Did you tell the Russell kid you wanted him to play 'Safety?'" |
 "Hang on! I keep entering a search for 'squishy red orb next to the lungs,' and this dumb browser keeps taking me to sites for rubber balls, Silly Putty, and chew toys." |  "I'm not saying I believe in anything. All I know is since it's been there our server is running 50% faster." |  "Welcome to the Hotel de Notre-Dame. If there's anything else I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ring." |  (Scottish Tours) "Looks like our trip into the town of Argyll will be delayed while we let one of the local farmers pass with his sheep." |