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"This is a wonderful rub. We use it on everything - fish, chicken, calluses ..."
"Douglas, it's time we talked about this beer paraphernalia hobby of yours."
(Successful Beer Making Essentials -barley, Hops, Malt, Water, Yeast, Drinking Buddy)
"...and here's what we canned from the garden this year. Beets, carrots, cucumbers...oh, there's that glove I couldn't find."
(The Reformation Began In The 16th Century After Martin Luther Nailed His 95 Theses On The Door Of The Palast Church In Wittenberg Germany) (95 Theses are nailed to the door. 95 Theses are there. If one of these Theses should happen to fall, 94 Theses are nailed to the wall. 94 Theses are nailed to the door, 94 Theses are there. If one of these...)
"And believe it or not, children, some of your ancestors could be related to this fellow right here."
"Excuse me, Prime Minister Chamberlain. It appears Germany has just invaded Poland. Perhaps you'd like to read the official notice while I finish framing the Munich Agreement for you."
"Remember everyone, we're re-enacting the Battle of Chickamauga. Using your cell phones would be totally inappropriate! The Union soldiers would never get service this far south."