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"I birdied the 5th, 6th and 10th holes. Unfortunately it was while I was playing the 3rd, 7th and 12th hole."
"My golf teacher is also a psychiatrist. I still play as badly as I always have, but now I blame my mother and father for it."
"Betty, you're not going to embarrass me at the club by wearing that hat, are you?"
(Home - Visitor) "Hey! When I said take out the person who's making us lose, I didn't mean the score keeper!"
"Freeze!!" "I see Officer Ruiz is coaching the girls youth soccer team this year."
"We covered the basics today - hitting the ball, tying our shoelaces, and why I have hair growing out my nose."
(Pharmacy) "Let's see - I'll need some children's aspirin for my players and some sedatives for their parents."
(Great Cricket Rivalries: Sussex vs. Kent for the Last Parking Space at the Wicket 'N Bails Pub.)