Family & Relationships Cartoons

"I knew they were writing their own vows, but I expected quotes from Robert Frost poems, not the Geneva convention."

"Infertility hasn't been a problem for Ted and me. In fact, quite the opposite. We don't even hang our clothes in the same closet anymore."

"When I asked you to put on some mood music, 'On Wisconsin' wasn't the mood I was going for."

"It's an agreement Arthur and I made - he agrees to stay home from the gym 2 nights a week, and I guarantee that he'll still burn over 300 calories each night."

Parental Training Course - Some Course Highlights - 1) Driving from Idaho to Louisiana in a sub-compact vehicle with a pack of wild dingos in the back seat. 2) Leading a bull safely through a china shop - using voice commands ONLY! 3) Meticulously grooming a flock of feeding vultures in less than 60 seconds using only a wet kleenex.

"It was the only tent they could get on such short notice. Just watch your step around the trapeze rigging."

"I really think it's a boy. Why else would I turn off 'Masterpiece Theater' to hog the remote through a two-hour 'Wrestlemania'?"

"That's a telecast of parade balloons used in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Your ultrasound images are over here."

"How can you not feel confident? You're wearing Versace sunglasses, a Tommy Hilfiger sweater, Calvin Klein jeans, and Michael Jordan gym shoes. Now go on out there and just be yourself."

"I don't know, Mona - sometimes I get the feeling you're afraid to get close."