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"You did an excellent job, Dave. But two months seems a long time to paint the bathroom."

"Well, it always helps to put fresh flowers around, and simmer some potpourri on the stove. Oh, and let's get rid of those Alligator Motels."

"I like the marble vanity and the wall sconces, but I think the Eurostyle fixtures on the whirlpool take away some of its simple country charm."

"Neither one of us wanted a silo on the new master suite, but things like this can happen when you don't clean the coffee rings off your building plans."

"I bought a software program that should help us monitor and control our spending habits, and while I was there, I picked up a few new games, a couple of screen savers, 4 new mousepads, this nifty pullout keyboard cradle

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

"Let's see if we can determine your capacity for assuming risk. Now, how familiar are you with snake handling?"

"No, my 5-year old painted the landscape. The other one is a valuable example of neo-urban-impressionism."

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Chuckles, but the only thing you seem qualified for is a balloon loan."

"I don't know why we're building a family room when this seems to be the room we all want to congregate in."