 "I've brought in Tom, Denise, and Kyle, to talk about our REIT, Bond and metal ETFs respectively." |  "Looks like another new exotic investment strategy to me." |  "The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic-8-Ball' and we'll run some options." |  "...and don't tell me I'm not being frugal enough. I hired a man last week to do nothing but clip coupons!" |