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"My spam filter checks the recipient's address, http links, and any writing that panders to postmodern English romanticism with conceits to 20th century graphic narrative."
(The Podcast "Lamp Talk" Was About To Become Explicit) "Sometimes these sockets need cleaning. First, make sure the lamp is unplugged, and then..."
"Dennis! Dennis! Where are you? I'm being attacked. I know you're the groom. Tell them to just postpone the wedding a few minutes."
"Phil is so excited. He was passed over again as a full partner at the law firm, but was accepted as a Necromancer in his online game guild."
"Look, you can't just list an extraterrestrial embryo on eBay without using some catchy phrases or power words to make it seem interesting and unique."
"I think if you're trying to bluff in internet poker, it's probably not a good idea to follow your bets with a winking emoticon."
"There's been a lot of interest shown in your home, but no offers. I suggest we either lower the price or start selling advertising space on your virtual tour site."