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 "My God! I've gained 9 pixels!" |  "Okay, enlarge the chicken bone by 900 percent and attach it to an email to the museum saying, 'Getting close...send more money.'" |  "I told Russel he should data model before we go any further." "May I speak to Kate Moss, please." |  "Where's the audience track? You know, where I can put in coughs, throat clears and drink orders?" |
 "This program's really helped me learn a new language. It's so buggy I'm constantly talking with overseas service reps." |  "No that's not the icon for Excel, it's the icon for Excuse, the database of reasons why you haven't learned the other programs in Office." |  "I started running 'what if' scenarios on my spreadsheet, like, 'What if I were sick of this dirtwad job and funneled some of the company's money in to an off-shore account?'" |  (At FEMA, employees often use Excel's custom format function to create formulas for disaster.) |