 "We're much better prepared for this upgrade than before. We're giving users additional training, better manuals, and a morphine drip." |  "The kids are getting up right now. When we wired the house we added vibrating pager technology to their bunk beds." |  "We take network security very seriously here." |  "...so if you have a message for someone, you write it on a piec of paper and put it on their refrigerator. It's just until we get our email fixed." |