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"The odd thing is he always insists on using the latest version of Office."
"I wrote my entire cookbook in Word. The other programs I saw just didn't look fresh."
"They won't let me through security until I remove the bullets from my Word document."
"Hold on Barbara, let me launch Outlook and see if I can find a newsgroup on this."
"My spam filter checks the recipient's address, http links, and any writing that panders to postmodern English romanticism with conceits to 20th century graphic narrative."
(Uber-user Dwayne Grantz chalks up before putting Windows Vista through it's paces.)
"How's the defragmentation coming?"
"Once I told Mona that Access was an 'argument' based program, she seemed to warm up to it."